Friday, September 7, 2007

I really hate being sick and my job...

I totally hate being sick all I can do is cough and feel sorry for myself...I think I have bronchities and don't want to go see a doctor because I know that I will get antibotics and every one knows that taking too much of it can deminish the immune systems capability to fight infections on its own...
On to more interesting news...I am sick of being brokek as hell. It is so anoying to have to worry about not being able to pay for bills and necesities because my job doesn't pay for shit
I am so depressed and I really don't know why. Just for fucking get it!!
Peace out.

Monday, August 27, 2007

My first entry...

This could just all ultimately end up being a big giant waste of time...because it turns out that I might never use the blasted thing ever again. Or it could just end up saving me from the brink of depression that I can not seem to get away from.
I am fat, I am depressed because I am fat, and I am fat because I eat too much from being depressed...OKAY finally I have said it...or typed it.
Now to move on...I really have nothing to say right now because I am not pissed or happy or anything like that...I just exist...if i died nothing would change other than the fact that my job would need someone to replace me...but that is pretty much it.
But I will say this...I am in love with the idea of being in love. I want to fall in love...I wish to fall in love someday...someday soon I have been praying.
I have never been in love..never knew the joy..the pain...or the pleasures...I am 21 and I could acturately guess that my little sister has more of a love life than I do.
I am not ugly or anything...just fat...right now I could not honestly say why i have never had a boyfriend.
I have lied about going on dates or dating to make myself not feel so much like a reality I have only went on one date...that was a diaster (bastard tried to feed me chicken bones for dinner after I wouldn't put out)
I have this awful feeling that I will die a virgin which is probably worst than dying itself.
With all of this I am still a hopeless romantic... I read romantic trashy novels, I constantly listen to love songs, watch love films, dream about falling in love....BUT IN actuality I have never known about love...other than loving my parents and my friends.
All of this entry...untill next time.