I have been gone for too long...

Everything now seems to be going okay for me, I have a job that I find fulling (working with children) and I volunteer with the county (which can come with its own rewards)!!!!

Yay!! It took a lot of prayer, God, people connections, and tears to finally not feel like an absolute failure.

A las,when I step forward I seem to take steps backwards in some other areas.

I have gain so much weight and I need to loose it all for the summer so I could look hot at the beach! For me emotionally and physically I have to hit the gym hard.



















Also I am so desperate for human contact that I can come off rather slutty. I give more to men that I don't know (and I think you know what I mean when I say more) than guys I date for months I don't let them do so much as hold my hand- which all goes back to my feelings of inadequates and intimacy issues)

For instance, when I gave a b job to a guy I barely knew because I was both very very drunk and horny. It seems slutty and I was so ashamed I don't even like talking about it and thinking about. If I write it once then it is all over with.

My relationship problem is that I date when the guy likes me. I have never dated or done anything with someone that I actually liked, I guess that I am just a giving person :)

What would it be like to actually date someone you are attracted to and liked? Would the issues of intimacy not matter anymore?

New obession:
Geal Garica Bernal- he is so adorable and seems so sweet even though I have only seen in him in one movie...Babel (awesome movie by the way!)

and I want to see him in la mala educacion






Thrift Shopping!! It is a great way for us recessionistas!! I have been so invloved in Fashion Blogging that it is the only way to afford new clothes and keep up with the latest trends.










more to come later as I think of it (I promise at least two blogs a week!)